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An Ember in the Ashe - Chapter 17

Author: Sabaa Tahir

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Sana and Mazen disappear up an interior staircase as Keenan walks me out of the basement. I expect him to beg off as quickly as possible. Instead, he beckons me to follow him to a weed - choked backstreet nearby. The street is empty but for a band of urchins crouching over some small treasure, and they scatter at our approach. I sidle a glance at the red - haired fighter, to find his attention fixed on me with an intensity that sends an unexpected flutter through my chest. “They’ve been hurting you.” “I’m fine, ” I say. I won’t let him think I’m weak. I’m on thin ice as it is. “Darin’s all that matters. The rest is just . . . ” I shrug. Keenan cocks his head and brushes a thumb across the now - faint bruises on my neck. Then he takes my wrist and turns it over to reveal the angry welts the Commandant left there. His hands are slow and gentle as candle flame, and the warmth in my chest spreads up through my collarbone and down to my fingertips. My pulse skitters, and I shake his hand away, unnerved at my own reaction . “Was it all the Commandant?” “It’s nothing to worry about,” I say more sharply than I intend. His eyes go cold at the bite in my voice, and I soften. “I can do this, all right? It’s Darin’s life at stake here. I just wish I knew . . . ” If he is nearby. If he is all right. If he is in pain. “Darin’s still in Serra. I heard the spy who gave the r eport.” Keenan walks me further down the street. “But he’s not . . . well. They’ve been at him.” A punch to the stomach would have been gentler. I don’t have to as k who “they” are, I already know. Interrogators. Masks. “Look,” Keenan says. “You don’t know the first thing about spying. That’s clear. Here are some basics: Gossip with the other slaves — you’ll be surprised at what you learn. Ke ep your hands busy — sewing, scrubbing, fetching. The busier you are, the less likely it is that anyone will question your presence, wherever you might be. If you see a chance to get your hands on real information, take it. But always have an exit plan. The cloak Ayou’re wearing is go od — it helps you blend in. But you walk and act like a freewoman. If I noticed it, others will too. Shuffle, hunch. Act beaten. Act broken.” “Why are you trying to help me?” I ask. “You didn’t want to risk the men to save my brother.” He is suddenly very interested in the moldering bricks of a nearby building. “My parents are dead too,” he says. “My whole family, actually. A long time ago now.” He gives me a quick, almost angry glance, and for a second, I see them in his eyes, this lost family, flashes of fiery hair and freckles. Did he have brothers? Sisters? Was he the oldest? The youngest? I want to ask, but his face is shuttered. “I still th ink the mission is a terrible idea,” he says. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t understand why you’re doing it. And it doesn’t mean I want you to fail.” He touches his fist to his heart and holds out his hand to me. “Death before tyranny,” he murmurs. “Death before tyranny.” I take his hand, aware of every muscle in his fingers. No one has touched me for the past ten days exc ept to hurt me. How I miss being touched — Nan stroking my hair, Darin arm - wrestling me and pretending to lose, Pop squeezing my shoulder g ood night. I don’t want Keenan to let go. As if he understands, he holds on a moment longer. But then he turns and walks away, leaving me alone on an empty street with fingers still tingling. ««« fter delivering the Commandant’s first letter to the couriers’ office, I head to the smoke - choked streets near the river docks. Serran summers are always blistering, but the heat in the Weapons Quarter takes on an animal esurience. The district is a hive of movement and sound, busier on a regular day than most mark ets are on festival days. Sparks fly from hammers as big as my head, forge fires glow a red de eper than blood, and cottony plumes of steam erupt every few feet from freshly quenched swords. Blacksmiths shout orders as apprentices jostle to follow them. And above it all, the strain and pump of hundreds of bellows, creaking like a fleet of ships in a storm. Within seconds of entering the district, I am stopped by a platoon of legionnaires demanding to know my business. I offer them the Commandant’s remaining letter only to find myself arguing with them over its authenticity for ten minutes. Finally, grudgingly, they send me on my way. It makes me wonder yet again how Darin managed to get into the district not just once, but day after day. They’ve been at him, Keenan said. How long can Darin hold out against his torturers? Longer than me, certainly. When Darin was fifteen, he fell from a tree while trying to draw Scholars working a Martial orchard. He arrived home with bone jutting out of his wrist, and I scream ed and nearly fainted at the sight. It’s all right, he said to me. Pop will set it. Find him and then go back for my sketchbook. I dropped it, and I don’t want someone to take it. My brother has Mother’s iron will. If anyone can survive a Martial interrogation, it’s him. As I walk, I feel a tug on my skirt and glance down, expecting to find it caught beneath someone’s boot. Instead, I catch a glimpse of a slit - eyed shadow slipping quickly across the cobbles. A tingle runs up my spine at the sight, and I hear a low, cruel cackle. My skin prickles — that laugh was directed at me. I’m certain of it. Unsettled, I quicken my pace, eventually persuading an elderly Plebeian man to direct me t o Teluman’s forge. I find it just off the main street, marked only by an ornate iron T hammered into the door. Unlike the other forges, this one is utterly silent. I knock, but no one answers. Now what? Do I open the door and risk angering the smith by barging in, or do I go back to the Commandant without a response when she specifically demanded one? It’s not a difficult choice. The front door opens to an antechamber. A dust - coated counter splits the room, backed by dozens of glass display cases and anothe r, narrower door. The forge itself sits in a larger room to my right, cold and empty, its bellows still. A hammer lies on an anvil, but the other tools hang neatly from pegs on the walls. Something strikes me about the room. It reminds me of another I’ve seen, but I can’t place it. Light filters in weakly through a bank of high windows, illuminating the dust I kicked up when entering. The place has an abandoned feel to it, and I feel my frustration building. How am I supposed to take back a response if the smith isn’t here? Sunlight glints off the row of glass cases, and my gaze is drawn to the weapons within. They are gracefully wrought, each one worked with the same intricate, almost obsessive detail, from hilt to crossbar to minutely etched blade. Intrigued by their beauty, I move closer. The blades remind me of something, as the whole shop does — something important, something I should be able to put my finger on. And then I understand. The Commandant’s letter falls from my suddenly numb hand, and I know. D arin drew these weapons. He drew this forge. He drew that hammer and that anvil. I’ve spent so much time trying to figure out how to save my brother that I’d nearly forgotten the drawings that had gotten him into trouble in the first place. And here is their source, before my eyes. “Something the matter, girl?” A Martial man comes through the narrow back door, looking more like a river pirate than a blacksmith. His head is shaved, and he drips with piercings — six through each ear, one in his nose, his eyebro ws, his lips. Multicolored tattoos — of eight - pointed stars, lush - leafed vines, a hammer and anvil, a bird, a woman’s eyes, scales — run from his wrists up his arms and into a black leather jerkin. He can’t be more than fifteen years older than me. Like most Martials, he’s tall and muscled, but lanky, without the brawn I’d expect of a blacksmith. Is this the man Darin was spying on? “Who are you?” I’m so thrown off that I forget he’s a Martial. The man lifts his eyebrows as if to say, Me? Who in the ten hells are you? “This is my shop,” he says. “I’m Spiro Teluman.” Of course he is, Laia, you idiot. I scramble for the note from the Commandant, hoping the smith thinks my comment is the result of being a dim - witted Scholar rat. He reads the note but says nothing. “She — she requested a response. Sir.” “Not interested.” He looks up. “Tell her I’m not interested.” Then he returns to the back room. I stare after Teluman uncertainly. Does he know my brother was taken to prison for spying on his shop? Has the smith seen what Darin drew? Is his shop always abandoned? Is that how Darin got so close? I’m still trying to piece it all together when an unsettling feeling cre eps up my neck, like the greedy touch of a ghost’s fingers. “Laia.” A clump of shadows is gathered at the foot of the door, black as spilled ink. The shadows tak e shape, eyes glinting, and I begin to sweat. Why here? Why now? How can creatures of my own mind not be controllable by me? Why can I not will them away? “Laia.” The shadows rise, morphing into a manlike shape. They take on form and color, and the voice is as familiar and true as if my brother is standing in front of me. “Why did you leave me, Laia?” “Darin?” I forget that this is a hallucination, that I’m in a Martial forge with a murderous - looking blacksmith yards away. The simulacrum tilts its head, jus t like Darin used to. “They’re hurting me, Laia.” It’s not Darin. My mind is slipping. This is guilt, fear. The voice changes, twisting and layering as if there are three Darins all talking at once. The light in the fake - Darin’s eyes goes out as quickly as a sun in a storm, and his irises darken into black pits, as if his entire body is filled with shadow. “I won’t survive it, Laia. It hurts.” The simulacrum’s hand shoots out to grab my arm, and a bone - de ep cold jolts through me. I scream before I can stop myself, and a second later, the creature’s hand drops away. I feel a presence behind me and turn to find Spiro Teluman wielding the most beautiful scim I’ve ever seen. He pushes me casually to the side, holding the scim to the simulacrum. As if he can see the creatures. As if he can hear them. “Begone,” he says. The simulacrum swells, titters, and then falls into a pile of laughing shadows, their cackles falling against my ears like slivers of ice. “We have the boy now. Our brothers gnaw at his soul. Soon he will be mad and ripe. Then we shall feast.” Spiro brings the scim down. The shadows scream, and the sound is like nails on wood. They squeeze under the door, a mass of rats es caping a flood. Seconds later, they’re gone. “You — you can see them,” I say. “I thought they were all in my head. I thought I was going mad.” “They’re called ghuls,” Teluman says. “But . . . ” Seventeen years of Scholar pragmatism protest the existence of creatures that are supposed to be nothing but legend. “But ghuls aren’t real.” “They are as real as you or I. They left our wo rld for a time. But they’ve returned. Not everyone can see them. They feed off sorrow and sadness and the stink of blood.” He looks around his forge. “They like this place.” His pale green eyes meet mine, careful and wary. “I’ve changed my mind. Tell the Commandant I’ll consider her request. Tell her to send me some specs. Tell her to send them with you.” »»» y mind whirls with questions when I leave the smithy. Why did Darin draw Teluman’s shop? How did he get in? Why can Teluman see the ghuls? Did he see the shadow - Darin too? Is Darin dying? If ghuls are real, then are jinn real too? When I arrive back at Blackcliff, I attack my tasks with a single - minded focus, losing myself in the polishing of floors and scrubbing of baths so that I might es cape the cyclone of thoughts in my head. By late evening, the Commandant still has not returned. I head to the kitchen smelling of polish, my head aching with the indecipherable echo of Blackcliff’s drums, which have been pounding all day. Izzi risks a glance in my dir ection while she folds a stack of towels. When I smile, she offers a tentative twitch of her lips in return. Cook wipes down the counters for the night, ignoring me, as usual. I think back to Keenan’s advice: to gossip, to ke ep myself busy. Quietly, I take up a basket of mending and sit at the worktable. As I watch Cook and Izzi, I suddenly wonder if they are related. They tilt their heads in the same way, they are both small and fair - haired. And there’s a quiet companionship between them that makes my hear t ache for Nan. Eventually, Cook turns in for the night, and silence fills the kitchen. Somewhere in the city, my brother suffers in a Martial prison. You have to get information, Laia. You have to get the Resistance something. Get Izzi to talk. “The legionnaires were in an uproar outside,” I say without looking up from my mending. Izzi makes a polite sound. “And the students too. I wonder why.” When she doesn’t respond, I shift my sitting position, and she glances over her shoulder at me. “It’s the Trials.” She stops her folding for a moment. “The Farrar brothers came back this morning. Aquilla and Veturius barely made it on time. They’d have been killed if they’d showed up even seconds later.” This is the most she’s said to me at once, and I have to remind myself not to stare. “How do you know all this?” I ask. “The entire school’s talking about it.” Izzi lowers her voice, and I inch closer. “Even the slaves. Not much else to talk about around here, unless you want to sit around comparing b ruises.” I chuckle, and it feels strange, almost wrong, like making a joke at a funeral. But Izzi smiles, and I don’t feel as bad. The drums start up again, and though Izzi doesn’t halt her work, I can tell she’s listening. “You understand the drums.” “They mostly give orders. Blue Platoon r eport for watch. All Cadets to the armory. That sort of thing. Right now they’re ordering a swe ep of the eastern tunnels.” She looks down at the neat stack of towels. A strand of blonde hair falls into her face, making h er appear especially young. “When you’ve been here for a while, you’ll learn to understand them.” As I take in that disturbing fact, the front door slams shut. Izzi and I both jump. “Slave - Girl.” It’s the Commandant. “Upstairs.” Izzi and I exchange a glance, and I’m surprised to find my heart thudding uncomfortably fast. A slow dread sinks into my bones with every st ep up the stairs. I don’t know why. The Commandant calls me up every evening to take her clothes for washing and braid her hair for the night. It’s no different today, Laia. When I enter her room, she stands at her dresser, idly passing a dagger through a candle flame. “Did you bring back an answer from the swordsmith?” I relay Teluman’s r eply, and the Commandant turns to regard me with cool interest. It’s the most emotion I’ve seen from her. “Spiro hasn’t acc epted a new commission in years. He must have taken a liking to you.” The way she says it makes my skin crawl. She tests the edge of her knife on her forefinger, then wipes away the drop of b lood that beads there. “Why did you open it?” “Sir?” “The letter,” she says. “You opened it. Why?” She stands before me, and if running would have done me any good, I’d have been out the door in a heartbeat. I twist the cloth of my shirt in my hands. The Commandant tilts her head, awaiting my answer as if genuinely curious, as if I might somehow say something that will satisfy her. “It was an accident. My hand slipped and . . . and broke the seal.” “You can’t read,” she says. “So I don’t see why you would b other to open it purposefully. Unless you’re a spy planning to give over my secrets to the Resistance.” Her mouth twists into what might be a smile if it didn’t appear so joyless. “I’m not — I’m . . . ” How did she find out about the letter? I think of the scrape I heard in the hallway after I left her rooms this morning. Did she see me tamper with it? Had the couriers’ office noticed a flaw in the seal? It doesn’t matter. I think of Izzi’s warning when I first got here. The Commandant sees things. Knows things she shouldn’t. A knock comes at the door, and on the Commandant’s command, two legionnaires enter and salute. “Hold her down,” the Commandant says. The legionnaires grab me, and the presence of the Commandant’s knife is suddenly, sickeningly clear. “No — please, no — ” “Silence.” She draws the word out softly, like the name of a lover. The soldiers pin me to a chair, their armored hands as heavy as manacles around my arms, their knees coming down on my feet. Their faces give nothing away. “Normally, I’d take an eye for such insolence,” the Commandant muses. “Or a hand. But I don’t think Spiro Teluman will be so interested in you if you’re marred. You’re lucky I want a Teluman blade, girl. You’re lucky he wants a taste of you.” Her eyes fall on my chest, on the smooth skin above my heart. “Please,” I say. “It was a mistake.” She leans in close, her lips inches from mine, those dead eyes lit, for just a moment, with terrifying fury. “Stupid girl,” she whispers. “Haven’t you learned? I don’t abide mistakes.” She shoves a gag in my mouth, and then the knife is burning, searing, carving a path through my skin. She works slowly, so slowly. The smell of singed flesh fills my nostrils, and I hear myself begging for mercy, then sobbing, then screaming. Darin. Darin. Think of Darin. But I can’t think of my brother. Lost in the pain, I can’t even remember his face.
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